Top This One For A
Speeding Ticket in Kingsville, TX
Two
Texas Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding
enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville, TX .
One of the officers was using a hand held radar device
to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of
Kingsville. The officers were suddenly surprised when the
radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.
The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it
would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.
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Just
then a deafening roar over the Mesquite tree tops on
Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact, locked
on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a
low flying exercise near this, it's Naval Air home
base location in Kingsville, TX.
Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in
Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off a
complaint to the US Naval Base Commander in
Kingsville for shutting down his equipment.
The reply came back in true USMC style:
"Thank you for your letter....
You may be interested to know that the tactical
computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of,
and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar
equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal
back to it, which is why it shut down.
Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground
missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also
automatically locked on to your equipment's
location.
Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet
recognized the situation for what it was, quickly
responded to the missile system alert status and was
able to override the automated defense system before
the missile was launched to destroy the hostile
radar position on the side of Hwy 77,south. of
Kingsville.
The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when
swearing at them, since the video systems on these
jets are very high tech.
Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun,
should get his dentist to check his left rear molar.
It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is
broken on his holster."
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Irish
Robbery
An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door with the loot one brave Irish
customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the
robber's face.
The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation!
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has
seen him.
One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the
robber walks over and calmly shoots him in the head also.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the
floor.
Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.
There is a few moments silence then one elderly Irish
gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says:
'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse
